Because I need to write.

I feel wierd. I just feel, wierd. I'm at a wierd place in my life and I just want a clear indication of where the hell I'm going.

I feel like for the last five or so years I've just been floating around not doing anything I've ever wanted or set out to do and I'm slowly realising the fact that I have simply wasted so much time planning to do things I've forgotten to do them. I want to do so much and for some strange reason I panic that I'm running out of time. Like, I'm twenty one for gods sake - its ridiculous.

I wanted this year to be the year I did something about my dreams but so far its turning out to be just the same old shit. Don't get me wrong I have an amazing family and fantastic friends here and we have great times together but its just not enough. I need to get out, to get away from this person I'm becoming. I dont want to be a retail manager all my life but I'm starting to think thats exactly whats going to happen.

I just have got to start thinking positive, as of right now. I AM going to pay off my debt. I AM going to find a dance class that will take me. I AM going to FINALLY get to music theatre school and become the person I know I am.

I know I was given my voice as a gift, I just have to use it.